the city never sleeps

Covered in darkness, they walk by, their faces illuminated by the bright shop windows and glowing signs. The feeling of the damp, freshly rained-on streets through my sandals as I walk quickly over the stone ground, shadowed by the constant nightmare of an eating disordered mind, trying to get away. Away from the mistakes in the past and the ones I choose now, away from the overwhelmingness of life.

It has been said that the city never sleeps, but it seems to be in that semi-conscious state, between the oblivion of sleep and the awareness of being alive and awake. Above me, a thousand squares of light, belonging to a thousand lives that I wish I knew. The city is strangely quiet, peaceful, tonight. It feels intimate, raw, intensely lonely; like the woman who stands before the bathroom mirror at night, eyeshadow and tears washed away. She stares, unseeing, at the blankness of the ceiling and walls as she lays awake, searching for the strength to carry on, searching for something that will fill the emptiness inside.

Even in the blackness of night, there is light and beauty and life. Just as we can depend on the first rays of sunshine each day, we can depend on the smiles and happiness of a brighter future.


Thank you to kes, AVY, AJ, Olivia Lee, S., Britni Marie, Princess Perfection, Ellaveigh, Kat not Jas, EmptyShell, alice ana, Dani, Dirk Gently, in.the.name.of.thin, SkinnyLittleMe, Little Miss Thin, Grace, RaeLynn, Almost Alex, Catharina, and Meg for all of your love and support when I needed it the most. It meant the world to me to know that someone cared.