Friday, July 15, 2011

suicidal?

I once wrote a post about suicide, asked everyone to promise they
wouldn't take their own life. I'm truly sorry for being a hypocrite, I
really tried to stay positive, but this life is overwhelming, I'm too
weak to handle it.

I was sure these feelings and thoughts would never come back, but now
I'm drowning in them. I want to die. I can't live in this world or in
this body. I crave death, at the same time, I'm afraid, so afraid. I'm
more tired and sad than I've ever been in this life, and all I want is
rest, even if it means sleeping forever.

21 comments:

  1. I hope you find some happiness. It's no fun being depressed. It'll get better eventually.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Listen to the fear and trust me when I say that dying is not worth it. Life is hard sometimes, but there's always room for improvment. It will get better, I promise.

    / Avy
    http://MyMotherFuckedMickJagger.blogspot.com



    ReplyDelete
  3. Take a break, maybe a walk or a sleep or read a book far removed from your situation. Let yourself just be for a while. You are beautiful and you deserve to be here. These feelings will pass, don't let them win. We know you are stronger than that.

    Love AJ xxxxx

    ReplyDelete
  4. I've absolutely been there. The only thing I can say that may help is; go for a walk. Go be outside, get some exercise or anything. Being outside can ease the weird trance we get into. I don't know or remember how I eased out of my depression, but I do remember the night I decided to live. I hope you have that moment soon. So much love and hugs your way. If you want a listener, send me an email :)

    ReplyDelete
  5. please, please try and stay strong - things never stay the same forever - it will go away eventually
    xxx

    ReplyDelete
  6. Oh sweetie. You're not a hypocrite. I know when I'm struggling damn hard with depression suicide seems like the most logical answer, so I understand you're going through a really hard time emotionally. Talk, write, try to keep from isolating. You're not alone. Do you have a goal you've been working on or a project? if you do try to focus on that. I know how it feels... like you barley have the energy to function as it is. Just please don't isolate. <3 Britni

    ReplyDelete
  7. I hope you do not give up this fight.
    You have so much to live for and so much to offer this world.
    We all love you so very much.
    Please, please hang in there.
    *hugs*
    Love you, dear. <3

    ReplyDelete
  8. Taking things one breathe at a time will lead you through until you reach a desired place in life. Just keep breathing and stay strong.

    ReplyDelete
  9. i'm so sorry, i don't know if you'll read this comment but i'll give it a shot:

    When i was a little girl my father abused me, and my mom ignored everything. In the summer of my eighth grade, i lost one of my closest friends, then in April i was raped by an ex boyfriends friend. I felt alone, broken, dirty, and worthless. I have been cutting for a long time, but that was the only time i had ever scared myself. i cut very very deep, and i took a few sleeping pills. the panic didn't set in until i could barely keep my eyes open. But still, i woke up the next day to see that the cut wasn't as deep as i had thought. i was ok. I now have a new respect for life, although i still struggle with how easy it would have been. You have so many people rooting for you, and so much going for you. i love your blog and admire you as a person, and beleive that if i can do it so can you, you seem so much stronger than i am :) I know you can push through this, just try to immerse yourself in the moment instead of stressing about the future or mourning the past

    sorry this is such a long comment! I hope it helped you...

    xoxo, Courtney

    ReplyDelete
  10. My mom always says to just focus on making it through today. Do things you enjoy and take life one day at a time. This helped me 3 years ago and I hope it helps you (even a teensy bit) now.

    I hope you feel better soon <3

    ReplyDelete
  11. you can get through this hun. Try to keep busy and stay connected. If you need someone to talk to, message me.

    ReplyDelete
  12. no. no no no.
    no! you are NOT going ANYwhere!
    i am positive that i am NOT the only one who means this: i need you. i know i am not the only one who means this. just online even people need you, i know i look forward to reading your posts, i check every day on my ipod if you have a new post, because i don't want anyone to find out about my online world so i don't risk going on my computer often.. but i always check your blog every day, have the URL memorised and everything. you mean too much to me, and many other people online, not to mentioned your family and friends not via the internet.. you inspired me not too many days ago to perservere in my goals, not give up, and would do anything to inspire you to do the same right now. ANYthing. you're not going anywhere, please.
    alice ana. with loads of love.

    ReplyDelete
  13. dont take urself away from us i cant handle another one my nighbor hung himself on friday i saw him everyday he had a kid and a ilive in girlfriend he had another kid older that he was reconnection with he would do nething for neone and now hes not here i look across the street c the house and the truck and its just hits ya never gonna c him again

    so just think about ti iknow htis life is har di know it sucks and i know u have lows and highs and i know that it just drives u crazy but its all tha enough to take urself way fromt eh ppl that love u to cause them so much pain a pain that will never go away a pain that they will carry around with themf or the rest of their lives

    so please please just dont do take a nap or read disconnect for a lil but dont take urself away from everyone

    ReplyDelete
  14. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Please don't do anything drastic. I am so sorry and I pray that you find happiness somewhere. I know everything seems so overwhelming now, but remember that there are people who would die for you and love you dearly.

    ReplyDelete
  16. There isn't really anything I can say that hasn't been said already so I can only say this: *hug*

    ReplyDelete
  17. hang in there babe! xoxoxox

    ReplyDelete
  18. I've been there, I think a lot of people have, and especially girls on here. It can be tough to always be trying to be better stronger, perfect. And sometimes you will fall. But we just have to know that things get better; they always do. And you have all of us for support, so lean on us! I'm happy you were so honest in this post; that takes strength. All my love, RaeLynn

    ReplyDelete
  19. I can't think of anything really supportive to say, other than it would break my heart if you killed yourself and it's breaking my heart that you're depressed, but I just want you to know that I'm here for you.

    ReplyDelete
  20. It sounds like farewell...but inside you know you don't want to give up you still have hope!!! and that will never end. Hope is always a beggining of everything, you only need to wait for the best moment to start , to fight and to win ! Hold on!:*

    ReplyDelete

Don't be shy, leave a comment. :) I'd love to hear your thoughts!