I never thought I would be the one to find myself, index finger forced to the back of the throat, my knees against the cold white floor tiles, surrendering. Looking in the mirror afterwards, I was surprised to see watery eyes and tears from the effort of purging. And then I cried for real.
I had ran four miles, breathing in out, in out, right knee painfully bending, unbending; and somehow decided this gave me permission to eat. God, I didn't know it was possible to binge on meat.
Purging, it seemed so wrong, an incorrect answer to a twisted problem. It's a path disguised as a shortcut, leading to a terribly wrong place. But I know I would do it again. And again.
for your lovely comments and kind words. Your support truly means the world to me.