Tuesday, August 16, 2011


She screamed while they sewed up her mouth, until she couldn't anymore. The girl we were babysitting slept in the other room, my friend and I watching the sick scene of the horror movie, me wishing I could sew up my own mouth.

Exercising like crazy, eating like crazy. Addicted to the feeling of tight and strong muscles after running four miles, my hand on my chest to feel the wild pulse of my heart while playing tennis, constant soreness in my abs. Addicted to granola bars and strawberry jam.

Restless in mind and body. Painting lashes with upward strokes, a dark line of black against them, then realizing I would rather not go out. Pacing endlessly in all directions, counting as I go through the up and down movements of sit-ups.

I'm getting somewhere, I can feel it.

Please don't let me eat.

Thanks to:
Olivia Lee
Jane Pansy
Sam Lupin
Little Miss Thin
for commenting. Your support means the world to me. <3


  1. The tiredness/soreness after exercise feels good. It's like a reassurance that you worked hard enough for now. But there's always more that can be done. But each time I exercise, it's one more step towards perfection.

  2. keep up the amazing work! people like you inspire me to continue this quest for perfection...i simply dont have much willpower, but you, youre amazing! congrats, stay away from your fridge ;)

  3. Love feeling sore after exercise :)
    You have so much will power and you are doing amazing!
    Lottie x

  4. <3 star strong girl, you've reached so far! I admire you, really

  5. You are amazing! You're so strong compared to me! Keep it up and don't stop <3

  6. oh my goodness I am so jealous of your exercise! I wish I were motivated enough. stay strong, we're all behind you.

  7. I'm terrible at playing with my hair. Especially if I've straightened it.

    I'm the same with exercise. I quite like feeling sore though. xx

  8. I love the way my body has changed through running, I do do some strength training but minimal really and my body is starting to be really taught, especially my thighs and stomach. I love the dripping sweat and the way that each time my foot hits the ground I know it's pulverising those fatty cells. I'm more of a raspberry jam girl though :) When I'm anxious now I find myself doing either sit-ups or press-ups but my bf is getting concerned about my exercise and eating habits so I end up doing them in tha bathroom if he's around...slightly weird I know. xx

  9. i love the way u feel after a good exercise all sweaty adn out of breathe it has nuttin to do with my ed i just like that feeling i alwasy have

  10. Hi, nice to meet you, I'm a Brasilian girl.
    visit my blog when you can, i don't know if you will undertand something, but give some strong!


  11. There's nothing quite like the feeling after a good exercise. You're doing great!
    Stay as strong as you are.

    ~ Meg

  12. UM, you play tennis too? I played for ten years and was co-capt of my varsity team! Which actually doesn't mean I was that good, lol. I was one of those team spirit capts, not amazing athelete capts. I love the sore that comes from exercise. Mmm, think I'll do crunches now.

  13. I feel as if exercise is the way out, out of my body, out of my mind, the soreness makes me feel as if I've done something, but sometimes... I'm just so disgusted with myself, I want to get out of this vicious cycle of kicking myself over a basic human need--air,water and FOOD.but I just feel as if I don't deserve it, I don't know what's happening to me


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