If anyone has been wondering about my current weight, the last time I checked, I was still at 100 lbs.
Each one of us is looking, searching for something in our lives. Can we find what we are searching for, if we are unsure of what we want? I'm wandering with a blank map and a broken compass and a need to find my destination. I can feel the craving, the want for something, something that I cannot identify yet. But I am sure that somehow, that when I find what I have been unknowingly searching for, I will know.
I adore packing, a journey begins with the preparation. I'm throwing clothes and hopes into a suitcase, I feel as if I am truly going somewhere.
Two more days.
Comment Replies: I love you all, your support means the world to me. I truly appreciate each comment, thank you all for your lovely insight.
Thin or Not- I live for the summer, but I love winter clothes; scarves, layers, boots, jackets. I hope you have a wonderful day!
in.the.name.of.thin- I hope you don't cancel your plans with your best friend! I hope you have a great time shopping, I'm sure it'll be a ton of fun. (: Have a lovely day!
jackie- I agree, sometimes I wish I could sleep forever. I hope that being with people will make me happy, starting tomorrow, I have non-stop plans. Thanks for commenting!
ElBar7a- I sometimes wish I could still wear winter clothes, it's in the 90s though where I live. I completely agree with what you said about our eating disorders becoming the center of our lives, every decision we make, all our plans, our thoughts become tangled with our disorder. Congrats on being a vegetarian, I really admire that lifestyle! Thank you so much for your lovely comment! (:
Hilly.M- I would be completely lost without the amazing support from this blog. "I reckon that we are, even a little step, closer to recovery if we choose to indulge in life despite keeping our dark secrets in the closet." I love this sentence, indulging in happiness is the best thing for us. Thank you for your comment!
~christy~- I agree, I am terrified of ever gaining back the weight I've lost, once I make it to the double digits, I would have a mental breakdown if I went back to triple digits. "I believe you can keep your low weight and have a life at the same time", thank you, this was incredibly reassuring. I hope you have a very lovely day! <3
lottie x- I agree, I adore wearing hoodies! Thank you so much for your support!
Displayed- You are completely right, I need to force myself to be with others, it's the best choice for me! I can't stay locked up with this eating disorder forever, I need to live. Thank you for helping me realize that.
AJ- I'm happy you ended up having a great time at the ball! "Shutting out these people is a dangerous road to go down, they love you and you need to show them that you love them or risk losing them forever." I remembered this part of your comment today, and it helped give me a new perspective. Thank you for commenting!
Bones- Thank you very much for your support! I hope that we both can be alive again. Stay beautiful!
killa kristen- I hope that I get back into the swing of things soon! I'm glad that you've gone back to being social, I hope I do the same. Thanks for your support! (:
Cinnamon Brown- "I truly hope you choose to walk in the light, it's the only way you'll thaw" "It's amazing what new things are waiting, if we just remember to let go of the old!", beautifully written! I'm really happy for your choice to do what's best for you! You made me realize, I haven't watched the birds at the bird feeder for longer than I can remember. I need to see them again. I used to have a wild chick a dee (is that what they're called?) friend, I miss him quite a lot. I hope that you have a lovely day, you deserve it!
lulu- Thank you so much for your support! I'm glad that you've gone back to living again, it's really reassuring to know that it does get better. I hope that you have a wonderful day, stay beautiful! <3
Dani- It does seem like life is full of things that we're forced to do. I hope that you're feeling okay, it must be difficult to act like nothing's wrong, at work, when you're going through a tough time. I hope that you have a lovely day! (:
Skinny_legs- Thank you for your kind words and support! I hope that you have an amazing day, stay beautiful!