I think I preferred a numb existence, the rawness of being alive is painful, overwhelming. My mind is a thesaurus of awful feelings.
The lights are off, I don't like seeing the salty mascara tears.
Isn't it ironic, being at my lowest weight, while being at the lowest point of my life.
Trying to be strong has broken me down. I'm a Bad Person, I don't deserve happiness, food, friends, love. I deserved what It did to me, I deserve my mother's hatred, I deserve to starve away this terrible person that I am.
I realized, I don't belong here in this life.